My personal health challenges began at the age of 29, when I woke up with a ‘leaky nipple’.
It was the summer of 2021, at the height of Covid-19 infections. After tests and investigations, a brain tumour was discovered, pressing on my pituitary gland.
I should have felt assured that my health was in professional hands. However, I drastically underestimated the toll that this news would take on my mental wellbeing. It quickly felt like I was battling on all fronts, the stress of the tumour itself, the frustration with my pregnant partner looking after me, and taking regular days off from work, piling additional workload on our employees.
Beyond that, the treatment medication came with side effects: an inability to sleep, sensitivity to diet, stress, fatigue, and the looming threat of depression.
Mental health: the hidden battle
A ‘man up and get on with it’ attitude wouldn’t cut it. Instead of pretending everything was fine, ‘soldiering on’, or tying myself to any other variation of unhelpful masculine tropes, I pushed myself to be more open, with my partner, employees, friends, and with doctors. The weight this lifted was immeasurable.
Read more: Why we need to talk about men’s health
I took days off when my mental state or physical fatigue was too much. I kept people updated on my recovery – not just the highlights but the lowlights, too. I told doctors my medication was impacting my mental health to a degree I wasn’t comfortable with, which was then changed to a less-severe alternative. I blocked out my diary with the clear headline ‘Hospital’. Slowly but surely, felt less alone in my recovery journey.
I also listened to my own mind and body, something that I didn’t give much thought to in the previous rush of founder life. I acknowledged that my fatigue lessened if I ate the right foods, and that regular exercise improved my mood.
Why workplace mental health support matters
Workers in the UK spend almost a quarter of their lives working. Yet, often, mental health is considered as something to be dealt with outside of the workplace. There’s a widespread, endemic cultural view that speaking honestly about your mental health could be seen as a sign of weakness. Asking for support with mental health struggles is perceived more as a risk to future progression, workplace productivity, and overall culture, than it is a brave step toward looking after yourself. HR leaders must do everything possible to encourage a workplace culture that reverts this perception.
Read more: Men more likely to resign over mental health problems
How to help
While the onus of communicating struggles initially lies on the employee, company culture must support this. The next step is impactful support.
Is an employee financially burdened by after-school care because they can’t make pick-up times? Give them flexible hours to accommodate this.
Is an employee struggling with sleep? Or are they on a fertility journey? Support should be built into employee benefit offerings.
Is work pressure that is impacting them? Consider offering additional resources, skills training, or more reasonable deadlines.
Read more: It’s time we all took men’s health seriously
Of course, for some, particularly male employees, sharing struggles with mental health won’t be easy. The last thing we want to do is alienate these employees. Organisations need to ramp up the level of intelligence they gather. Surveys, anonymous or otherwise, are a good way to gather this data and see where more support can be given.
In quarterly appraisals or one to ones, the first question should always be: “How are you? Is there anything we can help with?” Ask with sincerity, and at the right intervals, to create a psychologically safe environment.
We’re a long way from adequate mental health support, particularly when it comes to men. While individuals must find strategies that alleviate stress or anxiety, there’s a significant responsibility on their employer. Be it an improved culture, investment in the HR and wellbeing departments, company initiatives or tailored, flexible benefits offerings, there’s more we can do to support people who may be struggling.
By Alex Hind, co-founder of the digital employee benefits business, Heka
