Boardroom connoisseur and virgin PM, Sandeesh, lost her apprentice dream through lack of planning, failure to adhere to core working hours and dubious recruitment skills, ending Synergy’s red carpet aspirations.
We suspect Nick would prefer working with children and animals (penguins included) rather than Stuart who made him ‘tremble with irritation’. Stuart is certainly consistent with his ‘brand’ message but demonstrated his not so politically correct side. Relishing directing an all female cast, Stuart revved a Formula One engine straight through the Equality Act. In a brave (or stupid) move he dared to mention Stella’s age (she is 30 Stuart, not 31). Stuart’s regard for the welfare of his staff was touching although aggravating rather than constructive. Even whiney Laura knows it is best not to stand in front of a speeding racing car.
Struggling to ‘reign in his masculinity’, Stuart tested (or test drove) the all-work, no-play theory as he went AWOL at Brands Hatch. Overlooking his unauthorised absence, Stuart’s self-appraisal focused on his excellent decision making and natural fit at the top. One might have thought Synergy was making a silent movie as thrill seeking Stuart’s attempt at a 360 appraisal process met with deathly silence and icy stares.
Stuart did have some good ideas, impressing perfect WAG Liz who imitated Apollo’s toy car idea in an effort to increase sales – don’t worry Liz, there’s no intellectual property rights in an idea. However, it was too little, too late for Synergy. While the team worked together more cohesively than Apollo and even had 25% more manpower, it still was not enough to win. The team’s one hour delay in opening its stall meant it lost out on vital selling time. Punctuality people! Sympathetic Stella offered her condolences to Synergy who ‘should have won’.
Recruitment (not leadership) expert Sandeesh received numerous grievances. Jamie complained of contract variations and demotion to runner (the most important role?). We prefer the delivery - ‘Milk Tray’ man job description. Potential stress at work alarm bells rang as Liz complained of hard work.
After three previous warnings during one to ones with Sugar, Sandeesh snowballed her way out of the running and was given the final heave ho. Following Sandeesh’s teary farewell, long standing Stuart sufferers will witness his and the remaining candidates’ foreign diplomacy and linguistic skills next week. Will the sale of savoury snacks to the unsuspecting German public have a sweet or sour ending?
Daniela Cohen works for media lawyers Sheridans
