So did it involve science or museums? Not really. Jamie’s perceptiveness didn’t win him the popular 6.30am game, ‘guess the task’. Desperate to avoid promoting ‘perfect pitcher’ Melissa, Synergy’s members chose Jamie to lead the innovation task.
It was child’s play for Apollo and its children as they secured the Baby Glo and instant six pack T-shirt. Synergy was left on the shelf with a garden spade and eco showerhead.
The battle (of Old Compton Street) commenced in true Apprentice style. Neutral Nick failed to flex his mediator muscles as Apollo’s all-female sub-team grappled in the absence of fair and objective sales criteria.
Laura, Sandeesh and Paloma’s behaviour calls into question their team-player skills. Ladies – there’s no ‘I’ in team. A tricky exclusivity negotiation (over, wait for it… 200 T-shirts) resulted in a breach of contract. Lord Sugar’s (pictured) disciplinary sanction? Disqualification of the offending sales.
Synergy’s shining star, Liz, shone in her triumphant £99,000 baby shop pitch. She, evidently, is not just about the numbers as she demonstrated the softer skill of listening. Melissa was branded annoying and repetitive. Jamie needs to work on the "constructive" part of constructive criticism.
Boardroom records were set by the best sales and most unprofessional exit. Apollo romper’ed home with sales of over £122,000. Synergy’s respectable £76,518.80 was no thanks to zero sales Stuart. The chief yo-yo seller forgot the golden rule – the customer is always right (not being rude to them also helps). Sugar regarded Stella more in sorrow than in anger. We wonder… is Stella’s halo starting to slip?
Back in the ring (sorry, boardroom) Stuart ‘The Brand’ Baggs was quick to play the ageism card of "I’m only 21". Sugar supports younger workers but on this occasion put Stuart in his place, namely the boardroom not the playground.
Melissa’s favourite phrase, "I appreciate your feedback", backfired when Sugar released this loose cannon. The proximity to the fifth of November wasn’t overlooked. Melissa’s sacking lit her fuse, resulting in a firework display of unprecedented insults as she begrudgingly stormed out of the boardroom.
Melissa’s exit interview highlighted a grievance for bullying by her male colleagues. Her grounds for appeal included an accusation of "ganging up on me" by the "horrible people", aka Jamie and Stuart. It’s a shame Melissa didn’t take on board the feedback from her final appraisal.
Figure hugging T-shirts packed, team Apollo headed for time off in lieu at a luxurious spa. Seemingly Sugar isn’t worried about vicarious liability as his staff enjoyed cocktails in hot tubs.
Visions of next week’s glad rags and handbags theme leaves us questioning whether handbags will actually be sold or used by the girls as weapons.
Neisha Glynternick, Sheridans – media lawyers
