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Don't overlook your 'sandwich carers'

"Despite progress in addressing stigma around mental health, stigma around caregiving persists," writes wellbeing director Karl Bennett

Employers: how confident are you that your employees feel comfortable having a conversation about caregiving responsibilities without consequence?

The sad fact is, too many people are leaving work because they are afraid to have these conversations with their employers. Some fear how their employers will react. Some fear job loss or financial implications, others fear stigma and judgement on their ability to perform effectively.

Despite the progress we have made as a society in addressing the stigma attached to mental health, stigma around caregiving very much exists.


Read more: HR must encourage working carers to seek support


But it’s not necessarily a stigma around parents having dementia or an elderly aunt having a terminal cancer diagnosis. It’s the stigma attached to how the employee as a person is going to be impacted and how it could affect their work.

While employees openly talk about childcare issues, they don't often openly talk about their eldercare responsibilities. Put it like this: a colleague will happily put a photo on their desk or social media of their child's first day at school, but you will never see a photo of their parent's first day at the dementia clinic.

Eldercare then, is often hidden from employers and even colleagues. This likely means that the first time an employer recognises there is an issue is when care responsibilities impact someone’s wellbeing or their performance.

And impact them it will. It’s not just time management and balancing work and caregiving responsibilities, it’s the unpredictable, anxiety-provoking nature of eldercare. Childcare responsibilities are relatively straightforward in comparison: a Christmas play, for example, a doctor’s appointment, an inset day. But you can’t predict when you’ll get a call telling you that an elderly relative has just had a fall. Then add on top the uncertainty, anxiety and low-level depression – caused by a lack of control over a situation – and together, it all creates an enormous emotional toll which can affect working life.

Employees with dual caregiving responsibilities are often afraid of losing their jobs due to sporadic absence or the perception they’re not able to focus or engage with their role. They may be passed over for promotion, miss out on bonuses or experience financial implications.


Read more: Childcare costs forcing mothers to quit work


These issues aren’t going to go away. So-called sandwich carers are a growing demographic, with people having children later and people living longer. Employers now, more than ever, need to work with their teams to understand the issues affecting those employees with dual caring responsibilities and put in place the mechanisms to support them.

The question is, how do employers recognise this is an issue in their workplace?

Without knowledge, employers need to rely on two things: firstly, that their employees feel safe to access the support services made available by their employer; that they don't fear the consequence of engaging with the services and that they recognise the services' confidential nature; and secondly, the services procured by the employer meet the needs of the issues impacting the affected employees.

For an employer’s part, there are many provisions organisations can put in place: flexible working, extended leave, appointing a named HR representative, providing access to EAP or coaching services, or signposting to a confidential HR hotline.

Ultimately though, there needs to be open and honest communication from both sides. Employees shouldn’t be afraid to have conversations about their caregiving responsibilities. They shouldn’t assume they know how their organisation is going to respond. Equally, employers need to do what they can to normalise these kinds of conversations.

Indeed, one of the most powerful ways to do this is to model vulnerability in themselves. Nothing is more powerful than a senior manager of an organisation talking about what they’re struggling with.

Being open as a leader is the strongest tool that any organisation has to ensure that people within it know that they can talk about these challenges.

One thing is clear: with the right organisational support, caregiving responsibilities should not ever stop employees from thriving in the workplace.

Karl Bennett is wellbeing director at benefits provider Perbox Vivup