According to the British Association of Anger Management, 65% of office workers have experienced office rage and 45% of staff regularly lose their temper at work. People are most likely to express anger over the telephone (65%), 26% in writing and 9% face to face.
There are many causes of anger but the most common is frustration: frustration that things are not being done fast enough, accurately enough, or just the way you want it. Often this frustration comes from a place of fear – fear you will be seen as incompetent yourself or that if you can’t control it, it will go wrong.
Here are some steps that have helped leaders reduce and manage their anger.
1. Work out the fear beneath the frustration and recognise that it resides in you
2. Ensure you have done everything possible to enable others to deliver for you (clear time-bound directions, mechanisms for monitoring and feedback and appropriate support)
3. Recognise the early signs of your anger
4. Practise physically deflating the anger, for example take your attention to your feet, relax muscles that tense, visualise a balloon deflating, whatever works for you
5. At the first sign of rising tension, physically work to deflate the anger
6. Buy yourself time, by not speaking or using a stock phrase such as 'tell me more'
7. If none of this works, find an elegant way to leave the room, letting them know when you will return
8. Work on prevention: at regular intervals in the day, count your breaths for one minute; regularly check in with your body to notice tension levels and respond accordingly
Lizzie Holden is from the Association for Coaching and director of The Global Coach House
