A novel experience for some – a baptism of fire for others. Armed with objective selection criteria but seemingly little knowledge of human rights, the fearsome panel (Sugar’s bruisers) began the ‘mental torture’. The rest of us might call it a tough interview (or four).
Stuart failed the lie detector test. At only 21 years of age (and don’t we know it) you would hope even the baby of the group knows the golden rule of not fibbing on your CV.
When quizzed by Sugar’s Telecoms guru the mystery regarding the licensing of Stuart’s communications company unravelled, albeit slowly and painfully. Despite a valiant blagging battle (and somewhat premature request for a salary increase, from £100,000 to millions) Stuart soon discovered he was one licence short of a brand. Stuart was dismissed summarily by a seething Sugar and left amid the threat of an unfair dismissal claim, on procedural grounds.
Meanwhile, Joanna ‘the cleaner from Leicester’ had her feather dusters flustered. Aside from ‘selling computers’ she failed to demonstrate the result of even a quick Google search against her potential employer. Interestingly, Joanna focused on her lack of business knowledge, rather than highlighting her strengths. Despite the far from polished performance, Sugar and his aides gave Joanna an unusually glowing appraisal. Holding her head high, Joanna bid a tearful farewell.
Unlike ‘am I fish or field of ponies?’ Stuart, by being truthful and remaining characteristically cool, Teflon Stella showed the others how it is done. Shaking off her corporate and wooden image, ‘deeply organised’ and ‘thoroughly decent’ Stella was the first to secure a place in the final.
Jamie and Chris went head to head, presenting closing submissions in an effort to win a place next to Stella. Although branded a ‘loser’ for quitting his law degree and banking career before even reaching the qualifying period for unfair dismissal (not to mention his 6 boardroom appearances) monotonous Chris won the day. Playing the blame game and lacking in confidence, Jamie might have benefitted from some earlier praise (or a pat on the head) and performance management.
So, while Stella and Chris were left plotting for the final, it seems the person who learnt the greatest lesson was practically perfect Sugar. Frustrated Sugar reprimanded himself for allowing Stuart ‘The Brand’ Baggs to come so far in the process. Is it too late to retract Liz’s notice of termination?
Move over X Factor and Strictly – Sunday evening sees the finalists reunited with their past comrades to create and market a brand of alcohol for the over 25s, in what promises to be a sobering finale.
Team leaders will need to keep close watch over the kids, as (apparently) some of them are barely old enough to drink…..cue the age discrimination claims.
Danielle Spiers – Media Lawyers, Sheridans
